Is in-love again?!

First of all I just want to say that I wasn’t expecting this to happen!

To be honest I don’t expect for a lot of things to happen to me right now, I’m like a glob of unexpectedness.

The last time I felt this way was way back in my sophomore years in high school. Back then I wasn’t sure if what I was feeling was infatuation or just love, I asked a classmate of mine – Richard Anciado, what’s the difference between Love and Infatuation.

The following is an excerpt from his blog in friendster:

“You see… The problem with most people today is that they tend to misunderstand what they feel. People tend to confuse Real Love with Infatuation”

In a way that made me think, what I felt during those days – was it just infatuation?

Another excerpt from him:

“Infatuation as defined by books is a foolish and extravagant admiration for someone. It is also considered as short-lived or temporary. Others even point it out as a sign of immaturity. ”

… a foolish and extravagant admiration for someone? Short-lived or temporary? a sign of immaturity? – what does all that mean?!

For one I disagree that it’s a sign of immaturity, is it really a sign of immaturity to admire someone?

True, I may have admired someone but it wasn’t short-lived for it to last for 5 years and until now I can’t believe I found some way to release myself from it.

Maybe 5 years IS (for some) short-lived, but I honestly believed that it was love, Love that I had to give up because of difficulties in understanding each other.

But right now, when I just realized that I was free from that emotion, free from that 5 years of longing, someone had to capture my heart again.

..and I was a fool to give it freely just because I found the traits I was looking for.

But, am I a fool? Honestly I don’t know the answer to that, It’s a question I haven’t answered for a long time already, I’m – what you can call it – still looking for an answer to a lot of question.

To make matters worst, I’m in-love with someone younger than me, a mere 15 year old – an age gap of 4 years! That alone complicates things If I should pursue or hold-back.

I’ve always been an advocate of same-age relationship, but with this I had to re-examine my principles, and myself. As I’ve said earlier, I’m a glob of unexpectedness – always seem to be attracting more unexpected slimes to add to my globy self.

For now I’m gonna follow what my heart is telling me – something I didn’t do last time. Though it’s hard, it’s better to do something than nothing.